Updated: Aug 11, 2019
I may challenge myself with a number of different experiences each year. Often they are different so that there is variety and new experiences in my life. Sometimes elements may be the same and the more I do those the better I get at them.
One of these things is going away and doing things on my own. This was something I struggled with for a while and even this time last year I was away in a hotel room on my own, being pep-talked by more than one friend on messenger because I was so freaked out about going to a new situation where I was going to be doing activities with other ladies in business. Doing things on my own where I am in control is one thing and I have got really quite good at that, but interacting with others, speaking up and not being in control is totally different. There are those things in your head like, 'Will I fit in? Will they like me? Will I like them? What will they think of me? Am I good enough?' Or if you are me, 'what's gong to be for lunch?' I can be a bit food obsessed. Ha ha ha. All those mind doubts and worries!
When learning to be me and to be totally comfortable with who I am, which is ongoing, I have had to learn that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It matters what I think about me and it matters that I have my back, that I am loving myself and cheering myself on. If I am secure in that, those worries don't have any power. Except maybe what's for lunch because I am usually hungry ha ha. If I'm relaxed and having fun, it's so much easier to love myself than when I'm freaking out. If I am freaking out about something then there can be a battle of not wanting to be like that rather than accepting it and being gentle. All the time I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone, there will be things that freak me out and sometimes it may be something small and ridiculous that appears to be easy for other people. That's me and that small part of me, is just that. It's a small part of me and not who I am.
So next month I am off to do a group thing that I have done twice before. The first time I really struggled, the last time I got really nervous and then mad at myself for working myself up when it had been ok and had been fun and this time, I plan to simply enjoy it.
Each time I put myself out of my comfort zone I learn more about me and I grow as a person. Sometimes it's only when I find myself in a situation that is the same as a previous one or I repeat something, I actually see how much I have progressed and how much happier and more confident I am. So every now and then look back or hit repeat and be proud of how far you have come.