I am not an adventurer!
Updated: Aug 11, 2019
There is an adventurous part of me that enters me into events and challenges and then wanders off, leaving me scratching my head saying, 'OMG what was I thinking. I am not sporty or an adventurer! I don't want to do this big scary thing!!' A meddling part of me looks on, laughs and says, 'Tough, it's all booked now so get on with it!'
This has been happening for awhile and I push through the fear to complete that goal. I may shake, and really feel that fear but I also hate to be defeated. I have done many different things over the past 5 years. Behind the scenes it can be a battle between wanting to do the thing and fighting with the fear.
It's like being in a room with a bunch of people. I have learned that, the adventurous part is good. It's happy, enthusiastic, full of life. I want to hang out with that part. It's my intuition showing me what I really want to do. The fear part is more problematic and less fun to hang out with. I used to fight it and wrestle with it and it would just make the whole experience so much worse. Then I learned to make space for it. If it's going to be there then it can have a bit of space so it's not in my face. Also, if I'm not arguing and wrestling with fear, I can hear my other friend, courage. Courage is much quieter than fear. It's waiting there trying to get a word in, letting me know that I can do this and helping me to get in the zone to accomplish my goal.
With a week until I do my Alcatraz swim, the event day email arrived and I have had the OMG what was I thinking moment. Now I am settling down into it. It's ok to feel fear. Anything out of our comfort zone is going to invite that to the party. Listening to the quiet voice that is courage, and encouraging that in a gentle and supportive way is what makes the difference. I am reminding myself of that. Fear will come up with stories about why you should not or can't do the thing. Give it space. So next time your adventurous part thinks it might like to do something, go for it.